Marriage Under the Reign of Christ

A summarization of THIS sermon by Nate and Mae Postings

Let's be honest—marriage is hard. And if you're reading this thinking, "Finally, someone gets it," you're not alone. Whether you've been married for six months or six years, chances are you've hit moments where you wonder why something that's supposed to be so good can feel so… heavy.

Here's the thing: most marriage struggles don't start with a big blowup or a major betrayal. They start subtly, almost understandably. They begin when we start looking to our spouse for things they were never meant to provide.

The Backpack Problem

Imagine you're both hiking through life, each carrying your own backpack. At first, it's manageable—work stress, bills, everyday responsibilities. But then, without even realizing it, you start quietly placing things into your spouse's backpack: "Make me feel secure. Validate my worth. Fill what's missing. Prove I'm enough."

Your spouse tries to carry it because that's what love does, right? But eventually, they get tired. Irritable. Withdrawn. And you start thinking, "What's wrong with them? Why aren't they who they used to be?"

But here's the truth: nothing is wrong with them. They were just never designed to be your savior.

Looking in the Wrong Direction

We look horizontally to our spouse for what was meant to come vertically from Christ. The desire to be known, loved, and secure isn't wrong—these are beautiful, God-given longings. The problem isn't the desire itself. It's where we're trying to get it filled.

When we draw our life from Christ, our relationships have space to breathe. There's grace when they mess up. Patience when they're having a bad day. Forgiveness that actually sticks. But when that vertical connection fades, we don't stop needing those things—we just start demanding them from the nearest person: our spouse.

Marriage Doesn't = God

Here's something to keep in mind for your marriage: you don't need a better spouse. You already have a sufficient Savior. Jesus isn't standing outside your relationship saying, "Try harder." He's inviting you to live your marriage from Him—to let Him be your source of worth, security, and identity.

When Christ becomes your source again, something shifts. Your expectations of your spouse become human-sized. Love becomes possible again. So does patience. And grace. And actual, lasting forgiveness.

Marriage stops being about "complete me" or "fix me" and becomes about "walk with me. Trust with me. Depend with me—on Christ."

The Question to Ask Yourself

So here's the gut-check moment: Have you been quietly asking your spouse to give you what Christ has already given you in full?

This isn't about shame or guilt. It's about freedom. It's not about trying harder—it's about surrendering more. It's about remembering that marriage was never meant to be your god. But when you let Christ carry the weight, marriage can become what it was always meant to be: a beautiful gift.

Two people. One King. Shared dependence on Christ.

That's the kind of marriage worth building.